Listamlet?

St Alphonsus’ Church in Listamlet have apologised to Gerry and Mary Brennan of Clonfeacle after a mix-up in their audio saw ‘The Sally Gardens’ mistakenly replaced with Chris Rea’s worldwide hit ‘Road To Hell’ as the bride walked up the aisle.

To add to their woes, the altar boy was unable to turn off the song, leaving the wedding party and congregation listening to the entire 5-minute extended version of the chart topper which includes the lines “And the perverted fear of violence/Chokes the smile on every face”.

Father of the bride, Jack McCann, fumed:

“Some balls-up. The worst part was the altar boy fumbling to turn the thing off. We had to listen to that man sing the ‘Road To Hell’ line over and over at the end. The young girl was in tears thinking her husband-to-be was sending her a subliminal message. Why didn’t they cut the wires?”

Fr Cushnahan was at pains to explain how the song ended up on the church’s private music selection in the first place.

“Ah I was just codding around one day with funny songs to play in a church, just to show that you can have a laugh with God and all. Elvis’s ‘Devil In Disguise’ was another one I had on it. Thank feck that one didn’t play. The husband would’ve been afeard to turn around and look under the veil. I’ll just put this one down as a learning experience.”

Meanwhile, St Alphonsus’ have offered, by way of compensation, a year’s supply of confessions for the couple with a guarantee of very little penance.