The Father’s Favourite

Father Roger Hughes, one of the longest serving priests in the Omagh area, has criticised the long-running dancing show on the BBC – Strictly Come Dancing – for its promotion of short frocks and unnecessary gyrations.

Fr Hughes, who won the Omagh Multi-Faith Jazz-Hands dancing competition earlier in the year, claims that the negative effect can be seen in the discos across Tyrone which he attends to make sure the young people aren’t having too much fun, as ‘pain and misery’ gets you closer to eternal bliss.

“I’ve been watching this year’s programme in order to gain tips for next year’s Jazz Hands competition as there’s talk of that young shower of priests entering straight out of Maynooth. All I’ve seen is blades’ knickers as they buck leap across the floor being lifted by big tanned men with questionable sexuality. Last week I saw a blondy girl and I had to re-watch the same clip about 50 times to see if she was actually wearing a skirt at all. Almost broke the Sky box. I phoned the BBC up and said thon girl needs a good long coat on her. I saw the next day she was voted out so my words didn’t fall on stony ground.”

Fr Hughes proceeded to light on X-Factor saying is was a “load of balls, even worse than that Eldorado programme from a few years ago” and that Simon Cowell should be “shot with a ball of his own shite”.

Hughes’ maid, 23-year old former page-3 girl Hillary McCann from Galbally, said she thought the Father was exaggerating a bit:

Sure I see him smirking away to himself and rubbing his knees, especially when his favourite dancer Natalie Lowe is on although he says bad things when her celeb partner gets too frisky.