Coalisland Undertaker Told To Stop Winking And Smiling At Old People
Worried Coalisland residents have signed and handed in a petition to local undertaker Padjoe Dorman, demanding that he maintain a consistent facial expression whilst out and about in the town.
Dorman, who claims he has absolutely no special ability to predict when old people will expire, has been accused of worrying hundreds of pensioners since he expanded his business last month by adding on an extension at the back of his premises. 77-year old retired wrestler Kenny Campbell from Annagher told us of his ordeal:
“I met Dorman outside the butchers on Christmas Eve and he winked at me with a smirk on his face. Then he says ‘I hope ye get time to ate that ok’. He’s trying to scare us into the grave. Some operator.”
81 year old Mary McAleer from Newtownkelly added to the catalogue of complaints:
“That man has me tortured. At the local nativity play in the Primate Dixon school he kept looking over at me and sizing me up and down, like as if he was measuring me. Then he nodded at me and closed his eyes really slowly. I’m not imagining it. I didn’t sleep for days after it and had to get nerve tablets. To be honest I’m still not well.”
Dorman has denied any accusations of skulduggery:
“I’m just a friendly fellow. I’m an ‘Island man to the core and I love my people, alive or dead. And to show no ill feeling towards those on the petition, if any of them die within the next five years, I’ll throw in a free embalming session. Now, you can’t get much better than that.”
Dorman also added he has opened an off-licence at the back of his premises.
Posted on January 13, 2014, in Coalisland and tagged Christmas eve, Coalisland, dorman, off licence, Primate Dixon, school, undertaker. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.
lol lmao
LikeLike
Funniest story i’ve read in years…. You only get this sense of humour in Ireland lol…..BRILLIANT 😀
LikeLike
A deadly tale!
LikeLike
MMMmmmooooaaahahahaha ….LOL 😉
LikeLike
lol A Shabeen no doubt…lol – If he is an “Island man to the core”…lol
LikeLike
Some handlin altogether
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Tyrone Tribulations.
LikeLike
Great story! I’d love to interview Padjoe Dorman on https://vimeo.com/145825369 Funeral Nation TV!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Coalisland Undertaker Told To Stop Winking And Smiling At Old People | Listamlet ,Listamlaght
Pingback: Tyrone Tribulations – 2 Years Old Tomorrow | Tyrone Tribulations