Kildress Man ‘Mightn’t Bother Drinking’ On St Patrick’s Day This Year
A Kildress plumbing supplier this morning announced during Mass that he is thinking of not drinking at all this Tuesday. Fr Buckett, who was pontificating during the Homily at the time, had to chastise the left hand side of the church for laughing out loud at Leo McGirr’s proclamation.
Giggling was still heard during Communion with many in the congregation maintaining McGirr’s head was ‘away with it altogether’ and advised him to get professional help. Publicans and off-licence owners have also moved quickly to play down McGirr’s intentions, claiming he is ‘probably and atheist’ or even worse.
The plumbing merchant, who claims to sell the cheapest compression fittings in Ulster, is adamant he knows what he is talking about:
“People are trying to make it out that I am doting or away with the fairies. I even heard my wife say I must be ‘a devil worshipping hoor’. But surely St Patrick didn’t come to Ireland to get people to drink too much on a particular day of the year. He arrived to straighten out places like Brackaville and Newtownstewart and troublesome reptiles. I’m not touching a drop and will honour our patron saint through religious observation.”
Close friend and reality TV addict John Morgan hopes McGirr will change his mind within the next 48 hours for his own sake:
“Leo is always coming out with statements like this. I remember him saying he wasn’t going to get drunk when his eldest child was born. Or he wasn’t drinking when his youngest made her First Communion. No one takes him seriously now as on both occasions he was flat out on the bar stool for 12 hours like any normal person.”
Meanwhile, the Catholic Church have warned people not to lose the message of St Patrick completely by drinking too much but also reminded followers that although Arthur Guinness may have been a staunch Protestant, they’re all Christians together and that Guinness were great sponsors for the Annual Priests’ Convention in Maynooth.
Posted on March 15, 2015, in GAA and tagged arthur guinness, Brackaville, compression fittings, Guinness, Kildress, maynooth, Newtownstewart, plumbing, St Patrick, St Patrick's day. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.
So glad I raised abusers n users pretension and sin lord loves a laugh but evil he doesn’t I may burn I never loved r wanted them but I didn’t want to repeat sin I am sorry public n children this is funny no life ain’t got
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Yes but you support leo and theresa with all they do so can’t say sinners when you encourage land support you are the one taught them you are the one brought them up don’t play scorned saint you encouraged and advocated behaviour
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You taught them
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DONT FIND IT FUNNY WOULD PRAY FOR HIM BUT EVIL CANT BE SAVED AS FOR HIs MA .. where are pictures of me .. why him Im the only one .. unfair gross remove
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U taught em maureen ur soul well said
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Yeah so u can selfie u shouldnt have kkuds evil
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IT’S MY BIRTHDAY PRAY MY SON SOBER
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All about u ur son … do u mind ur kids hope u have great b day one u deserve
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Prayers they dont do what u did … u know maureen n son … we know God only forfives those who acknowledge
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As uual all about ypu n golden child then poor leo .. u cause lets hear what you say .. monstrouis
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DONT FIND IT FUNNY WOULD PRAY FOR HIM BUT EVIL CANT BE SAVED AS FOR HIs MA .. where are pictures of me .. why him Im the only one .. unfair gross remove
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Maurewn Devlin here .. no not my kids . I’M A GOOD MOTHER AND NOT RELATED TO SCUM .. MY LIFE IS WITH GRANDKIDS..
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Yeap thats why u ignored abuse took on your stance if saint maureen protected your scum leo and theresa wow aint u a saint
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