UK Exit From EU Spells Disaster For Tyrone Diesel Smugglers And Stove Fitters

183804072-29fdc29d-2e37-45dc-bc02-87df45c6f7ed copyA Drummurrer stove-fitter has admitted to having recurring nightmares over Brexit, adding that he might have to find another trade if the vote to leave the EU gets the green light. In addition to his personal doomsday scenario, he predicts the end of the lucrative diesel smuggling business which has kept the county in the top ten of the most wealthy regions of the world since 1990.

Terence McNeill, who turned 49 last week, is fluent in six languages as a result of his stove-fitting escapades and has recently started coaching exam students for their GCSEs in Spanish, French, Portuguese, Russian, Latvian and Lithuanian.

However, the part time piper admits his gravy train is about to come to an end:

“If we leave the EU I’m bucked to be honest. I make a mint fitting stoves for the Eastern Europeans who are mad for the Irish stoves. And the Latvian women seem to take a liking to my lean, mean physique. And it’s not just me who’ll suffer. The whole diesel smuggling enterprise will be shattered if that imaginary border is stiffened again.”

It is estimated that McNeill’s stove fitting empire is worth £5m, £3m of which he has invested in top quality chickens, hens, pheasants, cocks and ostriches.

A Brexit Yes vote will also leave many families simply relying on child benefit, grants and the dole without the smuggling extras supplementing their dubious allowances.

“Tyrone needs to think long and hard about this, especially our Unionist brethren. They are driving around on dodgy diesel too y’know. Don’t bite the hand which feeds you, Arlene..”

…….added McNeill before going off to shout at his cocks for not strutting correctly.

An anonymous Dublin-based GAA official issued a stark warning that if the UK leaves the EU, ‘any team from the occupied six will receive untoward media attention from RTE and harsh calls from referees, unlike the present‘.

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on May 28, 2016, in Drummurrer and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

LUCID BEING

Those that claim to possess the answer are miles behind those that seek it.

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Young Writers and Poets

If writing is your dream, you are at the right place!

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on dining in and out

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Amber, Like the Traffic Light

Twenty-something, dog obsessed, book-binging gal

Minimal Belle

Creative, mindful & compassionate living

%d bloggers like this: