Visiting the bottle bank has been identified as an even bigger walk of shame than coming in at 7am after a drunken dalliance with the second cousin, claims a new study published today.

The paper showed that thousands of people detest having to make the visit, even moreso than going to the dentist, with some people having to endure over 10 minutes shoving bottle after bottle of wine or beer into the recycling bank, with every crash of a bottle bringing even more attention to the deed.

Patsy McGarrell of Strabane explained his dilemma:

“Sometimes I haven’t been to the bottle bank in about three weeks. The shame is tarra. I often take time with any Shloer bottles, holding it up and all, just to make people aware that it’s not all alcohol. But five minutes into the crashing noises and I’m dying inside. I can feel 50 sets on eyes on me. I mostly wear a hood now and go when it’s lashing down.”

On average, a bottle banker will deposit 45 bottles. Many claimed to have even more in the boot but couldn’t stick the crashing sound after approximately eight minutes so headed on.

The study also showed that shop staff shaking their heads and smirking didn’t help matters.