Loch Ness Monster And Lough Neagh Monster Exchange Visit Not Going Well

9H82SCAD1JNKUCAKSAM4ECA4CFUS8CABDPQ8CCAXR4253CA9UCDRXCAZBL4K7CA1YI0EICAZ6P35OCAEDMHWLCAHUXD0ZCAPW5AAECAQL7DFICAR354RDCANGIQ7ECAEL7GBKCA8R1O4LCAF5SXODBY SHENGAS MCGLUMPHIE

Monster

Monster from the Loch, wrecking about on the Lough

A number of locals along the Lough Shore have made several complaints to the PSNI following a series of disturbances caused by the visiting Loch Ness Monster.

The Loch Ness monster and the Lough Neagh Monster swapped locations for three weeks as part of a cultural exchange programme organised by UK Unite, a government initiative set up in 2012 to encourage regional communication and interaction between different social factions, such as schools, teenagers, and living dinosaurs.

Local woman Marian Jones, a paper plane aerialist from Ardboe, said,

“It’s a disgrace. That wee Lough Neagh Monster was never a bother, the shy wee thing. Come to think of it, you’d barely ever see it. Now that big Loch Ness thing has come into our quiet wee Lough, thrashing around, causing all sorts of hassle. There was all that handlin’ on the Lough the other weekend, with all them Girl Guides having to be rescued by boats and suchlike. They said it was because of the weather but it’s obvious it’s that buckin’ monster from Loch Ness, stirring up trouble”.

Tensions rose further after the monster allegedly ate three rowing boats and a jetty for its breakfast on Sunday.

 “It’s just greed and bad manners”, said Bernie McGinty, a balloon inflator from Cookstown. “We left it out a few cattle and a couple of volunteers from Coalisland to keep it going for a few days, and it just went and ignored it all. Obviously our volunteers aren’t good enough for the fancy Loch Ness Monster. And he can’t even spell his name right”.

Scottish representatives from Fort William in Scotland have made excuses for their monster, saying that it is finding the transition into adulthood a challenge.

 “Och aye”, said Hamish McTavish, “Wur Nessie’s going through a wee bitty of a difficult spell the noo. It’s nearly 4,000 years old, so it’s at that awkward age, ye ken. It’s very self-conscious aboot its body shape. Hoots mon”.

Local PSNI eventually succumbed to criticism for lack of action and issued an Asbo (anti-social behaviour order) on the monster. However, they encountered a number of difficulties trying to apply the ankle bracelet.

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on August 14, 2013, in Ardboe, Coalisland, Cookstown and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. We’ll be fine as long as it stays off the drink!

    Like

  2. not liking the sneaking agenda

    “organised by UK Unite, a government initiative set up in 2012 to encourage regional communication”

    Tyrone has no interest in uniting with the UK.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Ground*ed Hito

Be the light of your own kind.

Scribbles from me to you

My poetry & prose

Life with Saoirse

The ups, downs, laughter and tears of life in a complex family

Kilbarchan Pipe Band Blog

Registered Charity SC045878

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

LUCID BEING

“Compassionate toward oneself, we reconcile all inner, and the universe - from within.”

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and a printable recipe card.

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on Dining in and Out.

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

%d bloggers like this: