Monthly Archives: April 2026
Confusion As Reception Cancelled After Bride Catches Her Own Bouquet
A Galbally wedding day was halted when the bride threw her bouquet over her head and then ran back to catch it among a phalanx of single women. After discussions with the priest, the reception was cancelled amidst the confusion, with the groom disappointed but impressed with his bride’s dexterity.
Mary Hillick (36), who won Miss Galbally Wrangler Jeans in 2017, said she doesn’t know what came over her but feels she did the right thing:
“I don’t know what came over me, but I feel I did the right thing.”
…she added, before winking at the priest.
Fr Lovejoy confirmed that the reception had been cancelled before changing into civilian gear and heading to Tally’s for a pint of stout and a chaser.
Dark Side Of Moon ‘Bit Like Moygashel’ Say Astronaut. Hub Hughes Ball From Point Also Found.
One of the astronauts on the Artemis shuttle heading around the back of the moon told Houston that the dark side reminded him of the time he visited his ‘second cousin in Moygashel in 1999’. Additionally, a ball Kevin Hughes kicked in the 2008 All-Ireland Final was also found in a small crater. Finally, the scaffolding of a red diesel plant was also discovered with the name of a family in South Tyrone written on the Nissen hut.
Glover Cock, one of the lead astronauts on the mission, was asked by headquarters to describe the scene as they scooted around the back of the moon in third gear. He commented:
“It’s dark and a bit dead. It reminds me of my holidays in Ireland in ’99 in a small village called Moygashel. Loads of potholes. The only thing missing is a few flags and some sinister graffiti.”
Meanwhile, O’Neills have asked the next mission to retrieve the ball the astronauts saw in a crater with ‘2008 All Ireland Final’ written on it. Scientists have confirmed that it was the ball from a great score Kevin Hughes hit in that final.
Finally, the early stages of a red diesel plant seem to have been scuppered by the mission. The Daly family has yet to comment.
Outrage In Tyrone As Fermanagh Hotel Confirms Armagh GAA Have Already Booked Quarter Final Stay
In a move which will surely be used as motivational material for underdogs Tyrone, a small Enniskillen Hotel confirmed that Armagh GAA have already booked their stay for the Ulster quarter-final, in the assumption that they beat an underperforming Tyrone handsomely in the preliminary round.
When Armagh beat Tyrone, they will play in Fermanagh against the Erne County in a game some Armagh pundits consider tougher than their opener against the faltering Red Hands.
Brewster Hotel, a small hostelry in Enniskillen, confirmed today that they took a booking from Armagh GAA for 40 people for Friday 24th April, and have specifically been asked for apple juice to be left on all beds as a gift. A room for someone called ‘The Gaffer’ is to be kitted out with dumbbells and a punchbag.
Although Tyrone GAA has refused to officially comment on the booking, one insider said they are sure Malachy O’Rourke will bring his laptop with the story on it and pin it to the wall in the changing room.
Meanwhile, a bookie in Madden is already paying out on Armagh winning by 20+ points in a PR move they claim isn’t all that risky.
Tyrone Tribulations 