The DUP’s Public Offence Group (POG) have asked the PSNI to ask a French vendor at the Belfast Fleadh to stop selling Foie Gras as it sounds very like Up The Ra and is triggering their Public Offence workers, who are scouring the festival to find offence.

Animal rights activists have asked the DUP to join them in highlighting the deeply concerning production process of the foodstuff, but a DUP spokesperson said they don’t care about that; it’s how it sounds that is making them annoyed and anxious.

The POG has also confirmed that traffic lights are staying on green far longer than normal during the Fleadh and have stopwatches to prove it.

Meanwhile, three journalists at some of Belfast’s top TV and Newspaper outlets have been sacked for enjoying the Fleadh, having been sent on missions to find negative slants on the week-long cultural extravaganza.

One well-known TV presenter was sacked after being videoed drinking pints of Guinness outside Maddens and singing along to Oro Se Do Bheatha Bhaile instead of doing a piece on price hikes.