Pope Warns Garth Brooks ‘No More Concerts In Ireland’

NO MORE CONCERTS!

NO MORE CONCERTS!

Following the news that Garth Brooks has sold out for a fifth night in Ireland this summer, the Vatican have sent a stark warning to Brooks’ PR team that they will take a dim view of any more concerts, which threatens to break the Pope’s record of a 3 million audience in 1979.

Brooks will play to almost half a million fans in July and music experts reckons he could sell out 10 times that if he really wanted to, although today’s statement from Pope Francis has put an end to that idea promptly. A Vatican insider, nicknamed Fr Hurson from Edendork Co Tyrone, told us:

“Yes, we take great pride in the 3 million Pope John Paul II pulled in in 1979. If Brooks thinks he can ride in on his stetson and top that then he’s deluded. Just in case he is a Catholic, we will excommunicate him if he has any more concerts. We have friends in high places, Brooks.”

Fr Hurson continued:

“Like, he’s being a bit of a dick about this. JPII pulled in 300’000 in Galway alone. Let’s see Brooks do that on a cold windy day in Tuam. Some chance. That day, tomorrow or not, will never come. Pope Francis is ripping about this.”

Meanwhile, Derrytresk GAA are confident they can secure the presence of Brooks for the opening of their third Guinness pump in the bar during his stay in the country. Club secretary Hughie Hanna is cocksure of his services:

“We emailed him last week and asked would he come to the Hill for the unveiling of the third Guinness pump in the clubrooms. He hasn’t replied but as my ma used to say ‘no news is good news’ so we’re fairly sure he’ll do it. He’ll get sandwiches and mineral and maybe he’ll hum us a tune or two.”

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About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on February 7, 2014, in Derrytresk, Edendork, GAA and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. How small minded is that. Representing the Catholic Church being jealous of someone with their own fan base. It’s just childish. Wow..You can’t have more friends than me….Wow

    Like

    • Good point, well made!

      Like

    • Ummmmm, you do realize that not everything on the Internet isn’t true, don’t you???? Check the source of the article, just a cursory look, and you will see that the purpose of Tyrone Tribulations is SATIRE and that the author clearly states that accuracy cannot be guaranteed.
      I weep for humanity, because it seems that critical thinking skills have been lost on the mindless masses. Just a bunch of bleating sheep. Lord, please help us, because we just can’t fix stupid.

      Like

  2. ,I am not a Catholic and my first reaction was “Very Silly.”
    Giving it more thought, Pope John 11, will soon be a Saint, and that puts a different spin on this. If Garth does go over the Popes record, then that is a purposeful act, and now a moral act, giving the church room enough to excommunicate him, some what like the In the Dark ages, but I would back off if I were Garth, just out of respect to a man that changed the world. I believe Garth will do exactly that.

    Like

  3. ,I am not a Catholic and my first reaction was “Very Silly.”
    Giving it more thought, Pope John 11, will soon be a Saint, and that puts a different spin on this. If Garth does go over the Popes record, then that is a purposeful act, and now a moral act, giving the church room enough to excommunicate him, some what like the In the Dark ages, but I would back off if I were Garth, just out of respect to a man that changed the world. I believe Garth will do exactly that.

    Like

  4. Garth Brooks is skating on thin ice with Francis and the boys in Rome…..

    Like

  5. PopeEmeritus Benny

    Garth could well beat the pope in scrap!

    Like

  1. Pingback: Pope Warns Garth Brooks ‘No More Concerts In Ireland’ | Listamlet ,Listamlaght

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