Donegal Used Secret Wind And Rain Machine To Beat Tyrone TWICE

 

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Donegal weather machine?

Following two consecutive 6-point defeats in four days in Ballybofey in two separate competitons, two Tyrone sleuths have made the sensational claim that Donegal’s management team employed the use of a rain and wind machine to defeat the Red Hands, a device left over from the days of Jimmy McGuinness’s reign.

 

The machine, which was built by McGuinness by hand and used during county training to harden his squad even further, has over 44 settings including ‘gale force’, ‘tropical’ and ‘unusually mild’. Our sources tell us that McGuinness was reluctant to hand over the keys but finally relented when Rory Gallagher threatened him with writing an autobiography and getting his nemesis Declan Bogue to ghost it.

Tyrone supporter Conleith Mackle from the Moy confirmed the conspiracy theories are probably true:

“During the NFL game last Saturday I could hear a loud droning noise coming from behind the town goals but I just thought it was the Donegal accent. It was dark so I couldn’t see but the rain was acting strangely. A lot of it was going upwards.”

Tyrone also lost their U21 quarter final to Donegal at the same venue 4 days later, by the same margin, in similar conditions. Mackle added,

“I stood at the town end goals this time and, although dark again, the droning was louder and I could see these men in suits running around a field using what looked like joysticks to control something. They even started arguing when someone pressed something they shouldn’t have. That might explain the sudden burst of heat which touched 37 degrees celcius for three minutes.”

Donegal officials were unavailable to comment but were spotted throwing a blanket over something this morning.

 

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About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on March 25, 2017, in GAA and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. I have to admit to being no stranger to Ballybofey – many’s a rainy February and an occasional early Summer’s day I’ve spent up there (it was a tad rainy on it, all the time – if memory serves me?). I’d be altogether disappointed in our Tír Conáill brothers and sisters if rumours of this wind contraption device turn out to be true. Jim McGuinness did spend an unusually long time at UUJ – probably doing some sort of engineering degree plotting the downfall of his near neighbours in The Allianz Football League this year?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The wind that shakes the blarney!;)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. @James – I’m still laughing at your comment – great!

    Like

  4. @Gombeen – Wouldn’t it be great if altogether Tyrone Types sat down in a GAA Club in a rural setting, perhaps “The Hill Hut” in Derrytresk and discussed the woes of the left behind post Treaty and perhaps formulated a progression of devolved power, and indeed involved government in the top bit. I’m completely behind your tire-less endeavour to unmask the “Wind Machine Man” (It’s McGuinness – though, isn’t it)?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. @Gombeen – Love your postings – made up local news is clearly alive – Yay!

    Like

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