Omagh Man Awarded Extra Bus Seat After Big Balls Diagnosis

23155636545bebba5cc153b8494d2785An Omagh window-cleaner today received a certificate to say he is allowed to take two seats on a plane, train or auto-mobile after he was diagnosed with Big Ball Syndrome, otherwise known as Testicle Magnificence in the medical profession.

Damien McNeill (44) revealed last week how he was often on the receiving end of dirty looks and disparaging tuts as fellow commuters fumed at his insistence on a wide-angled sitting approach, often taking up two and sometimes three seats. All that changed today when an Omagh Surgery identified McNeill as a sufferer of Testicle Magnificence, awarding him a certificate which can be shown to all public service operators:

“I was a social pariah. For years I tried to sit on just the one seat but would find myself passing out on the journey from Omagh and Tattyreagh and waking up somewhere miles away like Seskinore. Recently I tried to ignore the threats and slaps as I took up two seats, especially from pregnant women or the elderly. Now I can hold up my Big Ball Syndrome certificate and enjoy the journey.”

McNeill also confirmed he’s looking forward to his upcoming trip to New York where Testicle Magnificence is the norm rather than an exception.

“I might be the first man in Tyrone to be awarded this certificate but apparently 85% of Americans have Big Ball Syndrome and can take anything up to four seats at the cinema or restaurants. I think New York might be my spiritual home.”

Meanwhile, close friend and cynic Lenny Pollock is unsure how the new diagnosis will go down in the town:

“If I was Damien, I wouldn’t be celebrating quite yet. Omagh ones are not a people to accept official documentation and I wouldn’t be shocked if his certificate is shoved somewhere that’ll make his journey even more uncomfortable.”

A BBC documentary on McNeill’s plight will be screened some time in the summer, titled ‘Damien’s Danglers’.

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on March 31, 2016, in Omagh, Seskinore, Tattyreagh and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Amber, Like the Traffic Light

Twenty-something, dog obsessed, book-binging gal

Minimal Belle

Creative, mindful & compassionate living

Blog about Mexico's Must Have Seen

Playa del Carmen, Tulum, Cancun, Riviera Maya, Cenotes, Sian Ka'an, Cozumel, Bacalar, Mahahual, Monterrey...

Blogger, interrupted...

“since our apparitions, the part of us which appears, are so momentary compared with the other, the unseen part of us, which spreads wide, the unseen might survive, be recovered somehow attached to this person or that, or even haunting certain places, after death. Perhaps - perhaps.”

Simplify Your English Blog

Put Your Thoughts into Words Better

Anroworld

The only thing better than curling up with a good book to read is sitting down at the computer with a good story to film!

SteveInVancouver

Just another WordPress.com site

%d bloggers like this: