Monthly Archives: January 2021

Odd Sock-Stealer Traced To Monaghan House

A sock-stealer who has been tormenting men in Tyrone for over 40 years has been located in a small village in Monaghan after a two-year sting involving washing lines and ladders.

Stevie Digman from a small hamlet outside Castleblaney admitted to stealing over three million odd socks since 1980 from Tyrone washing lines after his native county lost to Tyrone in a friendly at the end of 1979.

Digman was finally caught after a sting in Trillick when a woman was paid by authorities to hang out 400 pairs of socks on her line. Digman was in the Trillick area for a month’s mind at the time which allowed the Tyrone Sock Association time to plan their snare.

TSA chairperson Marie McBridle added:

“It was a perfect heist. We knew he couldn’t resist 800 socks neatly placed on a line in Trillick. We caught him halfway up a ladder placed against a hedge. He’d already nabbed 200 socks at this stage. The men of Tyrone can sleep easy tonight.”

Digman admitted to the theft of over three million off socks which he had knitted into several Monaghan flags.

He says the misery of thousands of Tyrone men being blamed by partners for losing socks was worth it.

Parent Put In Detention For Whispering Maths Answer To Daughter During Online Class

A 36 year old man from Plumbridge will have to attend a one-hour detention in his local school after telling his daughter the answer to the square root of 121.

Johnny Lavery, who is working from home, was heard by over 20 pupils as well as the teacher whispering the answer three times before his daughter heard him. It has been reported that the teacher made Mr Lavery stand in front of the camera and admit what he did.

“Aye I’m mortified. I even denied saying it a few times even though the lesson was being recorded and I’d be badly exposed. I was shaking and felt I was going to wet myself with fear. Miss McAllister really tore strips off me.”

Lavery will do the detention on Friday 15th January which will consist of writing out the 11 times tables 200 times.

Lavery also attended the same school 20 years ago and was only given a detention once for talking during communion.

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