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Odd Sock-Stealer Traced To Monaghan House

A sock-stealer who has been tormenting men in Tyrone for over 40 years has been located in a small village in Monaghan after a two-year sting involving washing lines and ladders.

Stevie Digman from a small hamlet outside Castleblaney admitted to stealing over three million odd socks since 1980 from Tyrone washing lines after his native county lost to Tyrone in a friendly at the end of 1979.

Digman was finally caught after a sting in Trillick when a woman was paid by authorities to hang out 400 pairs of socks on her line. Digman was in the Trillick area for a month’s mind at the time which allowed the Tyrone Sock Association time to plan their snare.

TSA chairperson Marie McBridle added:

“It was a perfect heist. We knew he couldn’t resist 800 socks neatly placed on a line in Trillick. We caught him halfway up a ladder placed against a hedge. He’d already nabbed 200 socks at this stage. The men of Tyrone can sleep easy tonight.”

Digman admitted to the theft of over three million off socks which he had knitted into several Monaghan flags.

He says the misery of thousands of Tyrone men being blamed by partners for losing socks was worth it.

County’s Only Remaining Pair Of Christmas Socks Reportly Still Intact Near Omagh

odd-socks-flickr-circulating-978x561Despite rumours to the contrary, a pair of socks given as a Christmas present to a father of four just outside Omagh are still in operation despite approaching the end of January.

Retailers in the county confirmed that over 6900 pairs of socks were bought in the county in the run up to the festive period. It was thought that only 3450 single socks remained after the 25th of January until a man was spotted, and eventually approached, in the Spar in Tattyreagh wearing a matching pair of Game of Thrones socks.

John McCabe, who was out buying wheaten bread and a packet of Fruit Pastilles, admitted:

“It’s a pure fluke. I thought one of them was an A-Team one I’ve had since 1986 but it does now appear that I have two of the same kind. Who’d have thought that? I’m urging other men not to give up hope.”

Meanwhile, a survey has revealed that the long month after Christmas has left many families eating things at the back of their cupboards despite warning from health officials. A mother in Cookstown this morning admitted to friends in the hairdressers that she fed the whole family pickled cockles from a small jar for dinner all week.

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