Most feared sight in Ireland

Clubs up and down the county are currently coming to terms with news that, when life returns to some form of normality, Windmill GAC may be playing Junior football in 2021 and may have already started training.

Although O’Neills have refused to confirm or deny their involvement, jerseys sporting the feared Windmill logo and design have already been spotted in and around Coagh and further afield. Uruguay, who based their aggressive 1950s style on Windmill after one of their players married a girl from Drummullan, is apparently awash with Windmill jerseys and its population is said to be beside themselves with excitement at the news.

In a statement read by hooded men this morning over Skype, reasons for their return were spelt out in a clear and concise manner:

“Football has gone soft. We, at the Windmill, cannot sit back and watch men dive and wave imaginary black cards any more. The only cards we dealt in were Mass Cards before a game, as a warning. Also, there has been serious breeding going on recently in families with the Windmill in their blood. O’Neills, Grahams, Martins, Devlins, Quinns and Herons. All mobilised. All raring to give lads a good reason to dive.”

The Windmill people haven’t seen any football in the area since their infamous friendly with Moortown in 1988 which saw a 130 man and woman brawl which lasted over two days down at the Wee Line.

Referees have today asked for better protective clothing for 2021. Mickey Harte is also considering not picking any Junior League players next year just in case.