Beragh Man Starting To Look Like A Turkey After SIX Days Of Eating It

Artist impression

Family and friends of a Beragh plasterer have pleaded with him to change his diet immediately after devouring SIX turkey dinners in consecutive days, and have confirmed he is starting to show turkey-like appearance issues.

Felix Grew, who bought a 6kg turkey despite the fact he lives on his own, is refusing to waste any of the food he bought for Christmas Day, with his repeated consumption of Brussels sprouts also causing a different issue for visitors to his house. Grew is said to now possess a red neck, with his head getting bluer by the day.

A close friend admitted:

“I was white shocked when I saw him at the Spar this morning. He was making a gobbling noise and was pecking at the seeds and berries down that aisle. It’s the big red sinewy neck that was striking. He was also rubbing cranberry sause on his hands and sort of chewing them. I’m quite worried.”

This is not the first time a Beragh man has taken on the qualities of a bird. In 1994, a man from the area started to look like a pheasant for no apparent reason. He was eventually shot by a hunter and went through a period of re-adjusting.

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Posted on January 1, 2024, in Beragh and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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