We can reveal that Tyrone Tribulations was mistakenly added to a White House Whatsapp group called ‘GAA Championship 2025’, revealing some surprising views held by the US government top brass.

In a comment that is sure to irk the Edendork community, Elon Musk thought Tyrone had a good chance to ‘play in the high sun’ but also commented on Darren McCurry’s age. Calling him ‘The Dazz’, Musk said he worried about the mileage on McCurry’s legs when the ground gets firmer this summer. ‘The Dazz might be past it, lads, especially in the heat of Clones’ to which Trump himself gave a thumbs-up emoji.

Vice President JD Vance went further into the intricacies of club football but also blundered when he said ‘Clonoe could take the O’Neill Cup the year’, despite Clonoe playing in Division Two in 2025. He was immediately rebuked by U.S. national security advisor Michael Waltz who wrote ‘stop talking bollocks ye wee wanker’ followed by 5 laughing emojis.

Trump, an avid Armagh supporter, put up three orange faces and wrote ‘up the apple men’ but also added he’s $500 on Darragh Canavan as top scorer and Donegal to take Sam.

Tyrone Tribulations left the group.