Monthly Archives: July 2025
East Tyrone’s First Driverless Bus Called In After Stopping Off At Falls Bar For ‘Pints’
Technicians are investigating the programming of East Tyrone’s first driverless bus after it stopped at a pub two minutes into its maiden test drive from Washingbay to the Tamnamore car park, sending a text message to the control centre that just said ‘pints’.
The bus, which was to ferry 25 passengers on a test drive from Derrylaughan GAA to the Tamnamore Park and Ride near the M1, a 3.6-mile journey, stopped half a mile into the drive, parking just outside Falls Bar and opening its doors.
The expert behind the initiative, Killyman engineer Oscar McVeigh, was at a loss to explain the detour:
“To be honest, I didn’t even know the bus could send us messages. To receive ‘pints’ as a text message from the driverless bus was exciting but also terrifying. We’ll go again tomorrow and maybe try a different route that has no pub. I wasn’t aware that AI could be fond of the drink.”
Technicians are also investigating the possibility that the pub’s owner had a cousin involved in programming the vehicle’s brain.
Two Tyrone Road Workers Sacked For Painting Big Yellow Box In Maghera ‘For The Craic’
It has emerged that the big yellow box, which has since been reduced in size, was painted by two men from Kildress for a laugh, and also to waste up yellow paint as they were getting paid by the stroke.
The two men, one of whom is married to a Derry woman, admitted they’d had a few drinks in them that morning, the day after Tyrone beat Donegal in the Championship. They revealed that at one stage they considered extending the yellow box halfway up the Glenshane ‘just to annoy the Derry ones’.
“Aye I’m disappointed to lose the job but we’d good fun watching the first few motorists trying to get their heads around the big box, from our cabin camera. At one stage there were about six cars driving along the kerb trying to avoid touching it. And we were getting paid by the stroke so it was a good pay-off.”
The culprits were caught that evening after falling asleep in a Portacabin around the corner, with their homemade CCTV still trained on the yellow box. They’d drunk three 6-packs of Carlsberg each.
Meanwhile, the Maghera Historical Society has asked people to come forward to share their memories of the days of the big yellow box.
Orange Order Call For More Tyrone Flags On Bonfires To Show Solidarity With Red Hands
With Tyrone’s semi-final clash against Kerry now scheduled for the 12th of July, Orange leaders in Coagh, Tamnamore and Augher have urged their 11th night revellers to pile more Tyrone flags and pictures of Peter Canavan and Sean Cavanagh onto their bonfires in an act of comradeship with their GAA brothers.
They have also suggested that parade-goers should send Tyrone followers on their merry way to Croke Park on the day by holding up two fingers at supporters driving past, indicating that they should go for two-pointers during the game.
Billy ‘The Biter’ Bunter, one of the top Orangemen in the Fivemiletown radius, explained:
“I’ve great time for the GAA, as all our brethern do. In the 80s I was a massive fan of the men in white like Harold McClure. I personally burnt the Tyrone cassette that came out at the time, in honour of their feats. The least we can do is merge both cultures. GAA ones like their flags, and we like burning stuff. It’s a match made in heaven.”
The Augher LOL have set a stall outside their lodge, asking for donations of Tyrone hats, scarves, headbands and flags.
Tyrone Tribulations 