• STUDY CLAIMS 4/5 OF IRISH HAVE DEVELOPED AQUATIC BREATHING ORGANS
• STRABANE MAN DEVELOPS EARLY FIN. STEERS WELL IN WATER.
• PSYCHIATRISTS SAY RISE IN PEOPLE WITH FEAR OF RODS
• WET WEATHER TO BLAME

A joint study by biologists at Trinity College Dublin and the University of Ulster has confirmed that the Irish are on the verge of being able to completely survive underwater for a long period of time through the development of the specialist respiratory organ known as gills.

The recent extended wet period has also seen a plasterer from Strabane develop what the medical world has confirmed as a ‘fin’ on his back. Charlie McKinnick (56) confirmed suspicions have completing a difficult swimming obstacle course faster than any human in Tyrone before.

Additionally, one of the country’s top mental health doctors has revealed a rise in cases of people displaying an irrational fear of rods and worms.

Professor Barra Rainbow warned:

“Unless the rain eases off soon, we might be hurtling towards the next stage of this evolution with people completely covered in scales and swimming towards the Sargasso Sea. This could also see altercations with greedy fishermen eyeing up the scalier locals. More money needs pumped into research on this.”

Top retail outlets have already started stocking plankton.

RTE and BBC have yet to confirm if the rain is to continue.