A Coalisland percussionist has admitted to applying to the Credit Union this morning, after a round last night cost £73 for just himself and his da last night. The order of a pint of Guinness, a pint of Stella, two packets of Smith’s Bacon Fries, and a Bushmills chaser left Harry Gillis in tears, although he still managed to finish the drink, and ordered another round.

The hostelry landlord, Mickey Quinn, could not give a breakdown of how the order came to £73 but was adamant that it sounded about right, as a pint is around £20 or so, he thinks.

Gillis fumed:

“I was warned ok that all pubs are dear holes these days but I wasn’t expecting that. I think he charged about £15 for the Bacon Fries and I counted them. There were only 9 of them in the packet and the oul fella took five. And the whisky was for him too. I went to the toilet when I brought the stuff to the table, and cried for about six minutes.”

Despite the astromonical cost, Gillis got another round in before heading to Landi’s for a cowboy supper and a tin of Lilt.