£700 mileage a week

Tyrone GAA officials are to monitor payments made to club managers in the county after a West Tyrone club were forced to activate a weekly fundraising initiative to cover the travel costs of their manager from the east of the county.

The club in question, on the Donegal border, were asked to hand out £700 to their loughshore-based manager after he claimed for mileage for the first week of training. It transpires he travels in a 1988 Mini up the Glenshane Pass in second gear, adding 45 miles on to the normal journey as it gives him ‘time to think about tactics and stuff‘.

Club chairman Henry King is worried about funds for the coming year:

It’s a costly business. We went with someone from the east as we wanted an injection of their exotic ways. So far he just makes them run around the field 25 times, a lock of press-ups and then fist-passing drills for 10 mins. I’m sure he’ll do something brilliant soon. But is there any need to drive in second gear up the mountain?”

In order to fund the mileage, the club is running a new lotto where you pick 10 numbers between 1-1000 and if you get all 10 you win the jackpot. There are no prizes for 3 numbers.

Meanwhile, there are confirmed reports that a club in mid-Tyrone have offered a house, 200 cattle and a local spinster to their new manager from Ballinderry.