NI Consumer Magazine have revealed that a corned beef sandwich, the once-staple diet of Tyronians in the 1980s, has not been consumed in the county since a builder ate one on a site in Pomeroy in 2017. 

Additionally, the startling news has been compounded by the fact that Irn Bru is rarely used now to down any manner of sandwich in schools or workplaces, with water or organic coffee replacing the soft drink.

Patricia McDonagh (60) from the Rock, who once prayed for 3 hours non stop in 1983, is adamant that the fall of the corned beef sandwiches has led to social disorder:

“I’m adamant that the fall of the corned beef sandwich has led to social disorder. So it has”

The magazine have hinted that Tyrone ones going to Belfast to work and being slagged by locals for eating corned beef sandwiches has led to its demise as a daily item on the kitchen menu.

Meanwhile, a cafe in Ardboe was burned to the ground at the weekend by locals for offering salads as a dinner as an alternative for eel suppers and steak dishes.

Owners Packie and Mary McQuinn admitted they made a grave error with their menu choice and have vowed to rebuild as an eel-only restaurant.