Tourism around Lough Neagh and in the Isle of Man is braced for a downturn in fortunes after today’s announcement that Edwin Poots has been elected as leader of the DUP.

Poots, who believes that the planet hasn’t been on the go that much earlier than the 1982 World Cup, is predicted to completely rubbish the idea that McCool, in a fit of temper, lifted a chunk out of Ireland to fire at another tall lad, hence creating the Isle of Man as well as Lough Neagh.

When questioned about the incident in 25000BC, Poots refused to be moved on the issue apart from saying something about bollocks.

Meanwhile, Tyrone commence their new season under Dooher and Logan tomorrow against Donegal.