Ardboe is now said to be one of the most stylish parishes in the county after a shipwrecked boat was looted in the early hours of Saturday morning.

The boat, which set sail from Antrim to Toome to cart across fancy clothes, tobacco, make-up, spices and musical instruments, took a wrong turn and crashed into an Ardboe shore at 4am on Saturday 22nd July, .

Word of the wreckage reached most local households within seconds, with hundreds of Ardboians descending upon the boat, taking captive the dozen inhabitants and looting the vessel, leaving it ‘like a canoe’ according to witnesses.

Many women in the area were spotted wearing fur coats the following morning, with one wife claiming she had “enough mascara that will last me 10 years”.

Local curate, Canon McGuigan, added:

“I’ve never seen Ardboe look as well. Most houses have new wooden doors and all the women look class. The dozen Antrim ones have been released without harm and sure they had a safe enough vessel left to get back.”

The last boat looted in Ardboe was in 2021.

One of the sailors has decided to remain in Ardboe, having taken a shine to one of the Coneys.