The DUP’s willingness to embrace new traditions has taken a new positive curve in the road after Emma Little-Pengelly was seen necking pints of stout in Tessie’s in Clonoe with Michelle O’Neill on a Sunday night, finishing up with a heated row outside Paddy Burger’s Van at 3am over the Wolfe Tone’s best songs, whilst ordering a cheesy chip and a burger with brown sauce.

Pengelly, who was born up the road in Markethill, was described as being ‘full of the craic’ and pure mad into the Sunday Game which was showing on the small black and white TV in the pub at the crossroads in Clonoe.

Although O’Neill had initially invited Pengelly for an afternoon tea in Michelle’s homeplace, the DUP juggernaut suggested going for a pint before she headed back to the city. Six hours later, the Armagh woman had won five pool games, three darts matches and an arm wrestle against the principal of the local Irish-speaking primary school.

Locals refused to comment on the night, but one Tessie’s resident admitted:

“That blade one to watch. She knows her rebel songs alright.”

In other news, an otter was spotted in Derrytresk which resembled John the Baptist. There will be a vigil at the pitch tomorrow night.