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Tyrone Man Barred After Ordering Skinny Latte In Pub In Galbally
A 45-year-old Galbally mechanic has been barred from a well-known hostelry in Galbally after he ordered two pints for his mates and a skinny latte for himself, pointing at a coffee machine that hadn’t been used since being installed in 2017.
John McGormley, who developed a liking for teas and coffees after a holiday in Venice during the summer, was also questioned by local unofficial enforcers regarding his taste in stuff. He narrowly avoided a hiding when his mother turned up and told him to catch himself on.
Local pub-goer, Geoff Riley, remarked:
“Aye it was a bit of a handlin aright. I thought that coffee machine was plastic and an ornament. Turns out you can order coffees but sure who’d be at that. John’s a good lad, but he should have known better than to use words like latte in this part of the world.”
In other news, several parents have already begun queueing outside Galbally Primary School with their children, despite it not opening til Monday.
Four MLAs Fight Over Laptop Plug In Coffee Shop In Cookstown
Four prominent MLAs had to be pulled apart after they came to blows over the usage of a plug to charge their laptops whilst sitting in a coffee shop, Grinders, in Cookstown, which they visit every day for up to six hours.
Harry Anderson (SDLP), Loretta Campbell (Alliance), Daithi O’Callaghan (SF) and Norman Blackside (DUP) have since been barred from Grinders for a month due to the disruption caused by their riotous behaviour at the weekend.
Hugh O’Neill from Tullyhogue witnessed the ordeal:
“I saw this coming a mile away. Sometimes you have up to 20 MLAs in the coffee shop at any one time on their laptops for hours on end. To be fair, they keep coffee shops afloat at the minute. Anyway, there was only one plug left free and Anderson went over and unplugged the extension lead which was serving the other three. It ended with Blackside emptying a whole cappuchino over O’Callaghan. Luckily, Blackside takes a pile of milk so the burns were minor. And Anderson definitely called Campbell ‘an oul c**t’ “
Grinders published a message on Facebook warning any MLAs who want to come into their shop to behave or there will be a permanent ban and they’ll have to go to Stewartstown or Moneymore for coffee.
Tyrone Tribulations 