McNabb. Annoyed.

BY SHENGAS MCGLUMPHIE

Police were called yesterday when a man lost his temper in his local supermarket after forgetting to bring his supply of carrier bags with him for the fifth consecutive visit to the shop. Prominent Killyclogher businessman Terence McNabb, 46, arrived at the check-out to discover that he had yet again forgotten to bring his ‘bags for life’ and was told that he would be charged 5 pence for each plastic one.

Check-out assistant Gemma Carson, 18, of Drumquin, said,

“He started off trying to stuff all the shopping into his pockets and down his trousers. How was that ever going to work with a 2-litre bottle of Pepsi and multi-pack of Tayto Spirals? After that he just went off his head. I said I’d have to charge him the 5p carrier bag tax and he started shouting all the bad curses like ‘them environmentalists can go an feck’, and suchlike. It was awful, like watching that fillum with Michael Douglas when he goes mental in the shop with the machine gun. This was just as bad. Well, this man didn’t have a machine gun, but he did have a frozen garlic baguette that he kept waving about in quite a scary way”.

By the time the PSNI arrived McNabb was sitting on the floor suffering from concussion after having head-butted the Thomas the Tank Engine children’s ride. He was forcibly removed from the shop whilst shouting, ‘feck the dolphins’ at the top of his voice, before asking if he could have the coupons for the pyrex dish offer. After examination of CCTV footage he was later charged with threatening a police officer with a box of Tictacs, and criminal damage for having broken Thomas’s funnel.

Supermarket manager Sean Keenan said,

“This bollix has got form. He was in here last year after Kerry bate Tyrone in the GAA, wreckin’ the Kerrygold butter display. Loony. He won’t be welcome back. Well, not until he’s paid over the 5 pence. Every penny counts”.