Coalisland Undertaker Told To Stop Winking And Smiling At Old People

Dorman, just very friendly?

Dorman, just very friendly?

Worried Coalisland residents have signed and handed in a petition to local undertaker Padjoe Dorman, demanding that he maintain a consistent facial expression whilst out and about in the town.

Dorman, who claims he has absolutely no special ability to predict when old people will expire, has been accused of worrying hundreds of pensioners since he expanded his business last month by adding on an extension at the back of his premises. 77-year old retired wrestler Kenny Campbell from Annagher told us of his ordeal:

“I met Dorman outside the butchers on Christmas Eve and he winked at me with a smirk on his face. Then he says ‘I hope ye get time to ate that ok’. He’s trying to scare us into the grave. Some operator.”

81 year old Mary McAleer from Newtownkelly added to the catalogue of complaints:

“That man has me tortured. At the local nativity play in the Primate Dixon school he kept looking over at me and sizing me up and down, like as if he was measuring me. Then he nodded at me and closed his eyes really slowly. I’m not imagining it. I didn’t sleep for days after it and had to get nerve tablets. To be honest I’m still not well.”

Dorman has denied any accusations of skulduggery:

“I’m just a friendly fellow. I’m an ‘Island man to the core and I love my people, alive or dead. And to show no ill feeling towards those on the petition, if any of them die within the next five years, I’ll throw in a free embalming session. Now, you can’t get much better than that.”

Dorman also added he has opened an off-licence at the back of his premises.

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on January 13, 2014, in Coalisland and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Climbing Mountains Chasing Dreams

    Funniest story i’ve read in years…. You only get this sense of humour in Ireland lol…..BRILLIANT 😀

    Like

  2. lol A Shabeen no doubt…lol – If he is an “Island man to the core”…lol

    Like

  3. Great story! I’d love to interview Padjoe Dorman on https://vimeo.com/145825369 Funeral Nation TV!

    Liked by 1 person

  1. Pingback: Coalisland Undertaker Told To Stop Winking And Smiling At Old People | Listamlet ,Listamlaght

  2. Pingback: Tyrone Tribulations – 2 Years Old Tomorrow | Tyrone Tribulations

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

University of York Careers

Developing your employability

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Minimal Belle

Simple, elegant and intentional living on a budget.

Blog about Mexico's Must Have Seen

Playa del Carmen, Tulum, Cancun, Riviera Maya, Cenotes, Sian Ka'an, Cozumel, Bacalar, Mahahual, Monterrey...

Blogger, interrupted...

“since our apparitions, the part of us which appears, are so momentary compared with the other, the unseen part of us, which spreads wide, the unseen might survive, be recovered somehow attached to this person or that, or even haunting certain places, after death. Perhaps - perhaps.”

Simplify Your English Blog

Put Your Thoughts into Words Better

Anroworld

The only thing better than curling up with a good book to read is sitting down at the computer with a good story to film!

SteveInVancouver

Just another WordPress.com site

That Football Analysis

A New Way of Discussing the Beautiful Game

Le Blog BlookUp

Imprimez et transformez vos contenus digitaux, blogs et réseaux sociaux, en magnifiques livres papier sur blookup.com

Brenners Mc Goo Blogger

Passionate about travel, adventures and exploration. Lover of the natural world... obsessed with natural cosmetics, growing your own and yoga!

%d bloggers like this: