Killyclogher Man Destroys Supermarket Butter Section, Arrested
A prominent Killyclogher businessman was arrested late last night after rampaging through his local supermarket, at one stage attempting to urinate on particular brands of butter. In an apparent revenge mission for Kerry’s defeat of Tyrone a couple of months earlier, Terence McNabb (45) singled out Kerrymaid, Kerrygold and Kerry Low Low Cheese for particular abuse. An elderly shopper witnessed the vicious attack:
I was browsing through the toilet roll section when I heard a man screaming bad things from another aisle. I looked over to see what the commotion was about and there was a middle-aged man with a Tyrone GAA jersey on him and he was scooping out the butter from various tubs and rubbing it over his face, body, walls and floor. He was shouting things like ‘take that yiz Kerry Nazi hoors’ and ‘you’ll be getting no sales here’ and sort of laughing manically.
Supermarket security arrived just in time as McNabb was unbuttoning his trousers in preparation for urinating on the now-empty butter containers. After an initial struggle, the business hotshot, who had been drinking all weekend whilst watching reruns of the fateful game in Killarney, was escorted off the premises as he shouted abuse at the workers, telling them they were ‘no Tyrone people at all stocking that effin shite’.
The PSNI arrested McNabb for what a spokesman called ‘the last straw’. It emerged that McNabb had earlier sent abusive twitter messages to Kerry Katona, Jim Carey and Paul Galvin before running at, and kicking into the air, a neighbour’s Kerry Blue terrier.
Terence McNabb awaits trial.