Strabane Man Got ‘Face Slapped Off Him’ For Suggesting His Man Flu Worse Than Childbirth
A Strabane solictor, and father of eight, was today said to be literally licking his wounds after innocently suggesting in his local pharmacy that his current ‘man-flu’ was probably worse than any of the childbirths his wife endured.
Several witnesses maintained a line of at least nine angry women lined up to slap 41-year old Killian Kelly on the face, leaving him ‘whimpering like a chastised mutt’ according to one bystander, before almost fainting in pain. He was revived by sucking on a packet of Victory Vs.
Kelly, whose wife gave birth naturally eight times since 2006, was forced to buy vaseline to sooth facial scorch marks after the ordeal, as well as the Lemsip he initially came in for.
One of the slapees, Mrs Duncan (66) from the Donegal Road, confirmed she has no regrets about the punishment dished out:
“What a wee bollocks!”
before stating she’d use a brick the next time he came out with ‘talk like that in a chemist full of women.’.
In an unusual move, The Independent Women of Strabane Society have challenged local townsmen to a pain challenge. By using top of the range pain sensors, a man is to be strapped up to a machine alongside a woman giving birth who will also be measured by the same contraption. The male participant is to receive some measure of pain in order to mirror that of childbirth.
Bookies are offering 2/1 that seven kicks in the testicle area will even up the pain receptors on both participants. So far there have been no volunteers.