Turmoil In East Tyrone As Breakaway Screener Factory Discovered In Beijing

By E Tyrone reporter Darby Gill



512 Vibrating Screener

Screener Valley (Coalisland and everywhere within a 15-mile radius) was left in turmoil this morning after news of a new screener company in Bejing was leaked to mainstream media. Witnesses maintain that so bad was the fallout from the news that men left Falls’ Bar early on Wednesday afternoon to head back to work.

The spokesman for Boys And Lads who Love Screening (BALLS), Becky “Arc Eye” McMoran, gave the following statement.


“Hi boy, what would them wee boys know about a MIG welder. We’ve been making screeners here for 20 years and no one knows more about them, hi. I mind building screeners here since I left school at 10 years old to cover up missed welds with chewing gum. It’s them Health and Safety boys have wrecked the whole show lad.
We used to able to work 90 hr weeks and hang aff rafters to get at the real hard bits to weld. Now it’s all masks and steel toe caps and you have to be back in the house by 7pm. Sure that’s no use to no man hi. I’ll not be getting a Chinese on a Sunday night now after lying in bed all day boking I’ll tell you.”

Although the new Beijing development is only a minor player, an “Irish Rejuvenation Agency” was seen leaving Washingbay last night. As the windows of the Vauxhall Carlton were blacked out it was difficult to determine who made up the party. McSorleys hardware was unavailable for comment on how many pickaxe handles and 6” nails they had sold the day before.


About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on November 18, 2016, in GAA. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

Lucid Being

Soul Dimension Esoteric My Universe! Articles, Philosophies, Technique And The Abstract!

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Young Writers and Poets

If writing is your dream, you are at the right place!


All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on dining in and out

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Amber, Like the Traffic Light

Twenty-something, dog obsessed, book-binging gal

Minimal Belle

Creative, mindful & compassionate living

%d bloggers like this: