Homeowners in the greater Gortin area have been advised to lock their gates after a 9-year-old child declared war on local hedges and gardens after he received only four large Easter eggs this morning from family and friends. 

The boy, who cannot be named, already obliterated two gardens close by and destroyed a main hedge on the Crockanboy Road by the time his parents were able to head to the local shop and pick up another six cut-price eggs.

His mother revealed that their rush purchase was in vain;

“He was cursing and saying it was too late and that his friends had already uploaded their eggs onto Facebook and Instagram hours ago. I just hope he’ll forgive us in time.”

An uncle’s attempt to explain to his nephew that back in his day he’d have been happy with half a Mars Bar was met with a clump of muck to his mouth, several kicks to both shins and shouts of ‘whatever grandad’ before dismantling the parish priest’s water feature.

For the record, the boy received two mini egg Easter eggs, a Malteser one and a large Yorkie egg.