A Sion Mills man says he hasn’t a clue what the police are on about after they arrested him for running an illegal tanning salon at his house, despite a steady flow of women attending his abode from 9-5 from Monday to Friday most weeks. 

Although an obvious massive neon-sign saying ‘Tommy’s Tans’ was placed above his front door and details of a twitter account, facebook page, instagram details and business website also evident on the signage, Tommy McCann maintains he just calls his house that and that he has a pile of women friends anyway.

As he was escorted from the premises, McCann told us

“No, there’s nothing going on here. I just like my name and I like tans. That’s why I called my house that.”

As he spoke, a stream of women in bikinis left through the side door with tanning streaks and drips evident on the back field as they fled.

His closest neighbour, who complained to PSNI after her car was hemmed in by customers, was asked about the house:

Listen, sure I’ve had three tanning sessions in there and was spray-painted outside his back for a First Communion emergency. Who’s he trying to kid?”

Meanwhile, underage drinkers in Sion Mills have been asked to find a new venue in the town for drinking by religious leaders.