Hard, thick-skinned semolina still dominates the Tyrone schoolchild’s diet according to health watchdogs after an investigation into the eating habits in canteens in the county for a hard-hitting Channel 4 show published their findings.

Additionally, sponge cake covered in pink custard appeared in over 85% of school dessert menus, often compulsory, as cooks across the county were advised to try some more adventurous dishes such as creamed rice or ice cream and wafers.

However head teachers have rejected the findings, claiming that Tyrone school children achieve high grades in exams due to their willingness to study over the lunch break rather than eat in the canteens.

Last week, a Dungannon student claimed he was served the same deformed three-legged chip two days in a row after refusing to eat it the first day. Governors at the school admitted that, although the claim may be true, it highlighted the financial constraints in education today.

Mrs Bullock added:

“We might even use that three-legged deformed chip as the cover page for our school magazine, as a sign of the times.”

Semolina has been a staple diet of Tyrone children for over 300 years and has been linked to their tendency to be under the average height for an Irish person since records began.