100 left-hand drive FSOs for sale

All roads lead to Greencastle this weekend in what is sure to be one of the biggest bargain days of the calendar year at the foothills of the Sperrins. Car merchant and general wheeler and dealer, Diarmuid Donnelly, has promised to put an entire fleet of FSOs, the famous Polish car manufacturer, up for sale at half price following a fatal error in translation yesterday morning. Donnelly, who famously sold a decrepit Lada to the Vatican in 1986, stands to lose thousands of pounds on the transaction but feels he has little other option.

“Some handlin. I left our blade to do the bartering as she has an O Level in Latin in 1977. Last time I do that. I’d my eye on the Fabryka Samochodów Osobowych (FSO) motors for a long time now as they’re the type of cars that would look well on the roads around Greencastle. I ordered, or well Deirdre did, 100 of them in all kinds of colours. They arrived within hours on a boat from Poland. I nearly choked when I saw they were all left-hand drive. 100 left-hand drive FSOs! When I phoned up the Poles they were unrepentant, claiming that we didn’t stipulate it was Greencastle Co Tyrone, not Greencastle Co Donegal. I was still a bit confused but they put the phone down and I wasn’t paying for another phonecall. I’m in enough debt.”

The FSOs will sell at £3000 tomorrow in his big field, with first come first serve. Donnelly is expecting a quickfire sale:

“Hotcakes at that price. Fair enough the left-hand driving will be a bit of a bollox initially but I’ve asked the council if it’s OK to drive on whatever side of the road we want, maybe on the left at the weekends or something at that. The new roundabout planned for the top of the village can be driven around anti-clockwise and the other one at the bottom can be approached either clockwise or anti. I can’t see many problems, well no worse that the current standard of motoring around here.”

Gate opens at 7am.