Moortown’s Flash Mob Idea ‘A Damp Squid’
By Staff Reporter Shengas McGlumphie
Onlookers said Moortown’s first attempt at a flash mob was shambolic and badly organised, following the disappointing spectacle on Saturday afternoon.
“I really don’t know what went wrong” said 84 year old organiser Kitty McIlvogue, of Anneeter Road. “It looked like quare craic on the television set with all the people doing the lovely dancing and everything so I thought it would be nice for Moortown to do the same”.
A flash mob is a group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and seemingly pointless act for a brief time, then quickly disperse, often for the purposes of entertainment, satire, and artistic expression.
“It said on the programme that a flash mob should be advertised through social sites,” continued Kitty, “so I put it in the church bulletin last Sunday, and a wee note has been in the window of Costcutter’s all week. When 4 o’clock arrived, there were quite a lot of people just hanging about the Battery Road looking all shifty and nervous so it was hard to know who was there for the flash mob and who wasn’t. I just don’t know. Were we maybe supposed to rehearse? Nothing happened other than dancing from John Joe Devlin, but poor John had been in McGuigan’s since opening time”.
The flash mob was eventually abandoned in chaotic scenes when Seamus Quinn of Ardboe Road realised he had misunderstood the entire concept.
“I thought it was supposed to be a ‘back to the 70s’ thing when that flashing was all the rage again. When 4 o’clock came, I threw off the old raincoat, and everyone just stared like I was a pervert. I’m not like. Not since ’84 anyway”.
Seamus was whisked away by his family in case Fr Toner arrived on the scene.