In order to take advantage of the additional Garth Brooks concerts announced today, O’Neills have anticipated a boom in shirts, belts, boots and jeans gift requests in households this Christmas throughout the county and began production in the above items today.

Brooks, who sat on the internet this morning in America watching Ticketmaster sales, decided to play a few more days in Ireland to cater for demand despite the cruel memory of cancellations in Ireland in 2014 still emotionally crippling many fans from Cookstown to Castlederg.

A worker in O’Neills in Strabane explained:

“I’m already flat out making holes in big leather belts. The bigger the hole the better they say. There’s talk of us working on Christmas Day to meet demand, even thought the concert isn’t for another nine months. They say the average Tyrone man goes through 18 belts a year due to overthumbing during dancing.”

Aughnacloy native Stevie ‘Bant’ Digney admitted he was in tears when he saw the waiting list on Ticketmaster this morning. I logged on at 5am, three hours before release, and every house light from here to Emyvale was on, as well as 500’000 other online users. I gave up when I got down to 200’000 and just put on Big Tom. I regret that now.

Meanwhile, the Edendork snowball still sits at £3.5m.