Riot In Coalisland After Popular Cafe Introduces Beans To Morning Fry

5479083788_47ac4405e6_o-589d570a3df78c4758e109baCommunity leaders in Coalisland have called for calm after it emerged that a well-known cafe in Coalisland added beans to their morning fry this morning, resulting in a 200-strong brawl at the roundabout between pro-bean and anti-bean gangs. 

Landi’s, where diners travel to from all over Ireland to experience its suppers, maintain the beans are here to stay despite the ongoing riot which is still simmering in pockets around the town, as well as being a non-optional item on the dish.

Anti-bean gang leader Tommy Quinn is adamant that they will succeed in getting the new item removed from the menu:

“It’s a disgrace. I know for a fact that this is to placate the Dungannon ones who we all know are into their beans. But what about us, the loyal local fry-eaters? Beans will never be a staple ingredient of a fry in Coalisland for as long as I’m about. This is worse than the day they added the tomato.”

Three brothers from Brackaville were told to leave the premises at 10am after they demanded a fry with no beans. Despite being warned five times that the beans were a new non-optional item on the menu, they refused to order anything else and proceeded to fire opened ketchup sachets around the room, one of which ruined Fr Toner’s collar.

Seven arrests were made in Annagher after a pro-bean gang from the area defaced a road sign with the message ‘beans are deadly’.

 

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About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on February 25, 2018, in Brackaville, Coalisland, Dungannon, GAA and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Is there a cafe in Coal Island there used to be a fish and chip shop and a pub. I trudged the length & breadth of it and don’t recall seeing a cafe, there definitely wasn’t one anywhere on the appalling massive housing estate. The only things to see there were the identikit gardens and the never ending republican banners planted in the gardens instead of flowers… There maybe a river or even a pond near coal island but I never saw the least sign of one of those either Island my aunt Fannie

    Liked by 1 person

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