Farmers across the county were spotted training as early as 4am this morning after it was announced that round-baling will be trialled at the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles, with high hopes that Tyrone can win gold, silver, and bronze at the Games in the same event.

As well as modern round-baling competitions, there will also be individual events in mowing, turning, rowing, and traditional bale-stacking, although the Polish are favourites for those events.

Pat McGurk, a 61-year-old farmer from outside Cookstown, is adamant he’ll be in Los Angeles in 2028:

“I can do up to 500 round bales on a good day if I’m up early. I can’t see anyone competing with that, and I include the Chinese. I know there’s a man in Kildress who can do over 400 but I know for a fact he’s on the performance-enhancing drugs. His tractor also won’t make the cut as it’s one of them Big Buds from America and it has something like a 3000L engine.”

Tyrone haven’t won an Olympic medal since 1928 when Danny Talbot from Brackaville finished third in the poetry competition with the poem “Cock-Fighting On The Bridge”. His bronze medal was subsequently taken back after it emerged he had copied the poem from a school textbook.