Holylands, post-Carrickmore meal

Three Carrickmore students based in Belfast whilst studying at UUJ have been inundated with hard luck cards and commiserating phone-calls after marginally failing to make a beef casserole at their flat in the Holylands. Despite the early stages going to plan, a mishap saw the entire flat burned to the ground as well as the adjacent buildings in what has been described as a ‘ typical munchie horror show’ by the PSNI. Seanie Loughran, studying sums at the university, says it was a brave attempt inspired by something they saw on TV.

“Gutted. Not just us but this entire row of flats. Myself, Ciaran and Johnny were watching Nigella Lawson and I told them I was sick and tired of spuds and beans or fish fingers and spaghetti hoops. Nigella had just made a beef casserole and after we’d tired ourselves from the usual innuendos there, we went out to the Spar and bought 2kg of braising steak, onions, red wine, tomato puree, butter, a rake of carrots and a 24-pack of Coors. It was all going well after we’d chopped up the steak and got a big pot and bucked the whole lot into it. The smell was delicious. Ciaran cracked open the Coors and that’s when things took a turn for the worse. The craic was mighty watching Deal Or No Deal as we got wired into the cans and the wine which we decided to drink too. It was the burny smell and subsequent towering inferno from the kitchen area that reminded us of the casserole. It was too late.”

The fire brigade were able to salvage the half of the end houses in the 6-row of flats although little was lost in the way of college notes as Loughran says they are the type of learners that don’t need to write things down such is the collective power of their memories. The police also expressed disappointment that they didn’t try to add mushrooms to their casserole. Loughran added:

“We’ll dust ourselves down and try again when we find a new place to live. I’d love to try making something deadly like lasagna. Imagine going back to the Carmen saying you made a lasagna. You’d be considered a culinary genius. But for a while we’ll get back on the horse with jammed toast and the like.”