New Red Diesel Laws Sees Rise In Tractors At Clonoe Church

Mrs Quinn (76) out for a Sunday drive

Mrs Quinn (76) out for a Sunday drive

“An effin tractor convention” were the words uttered by an irritated Fr Hannigan last week during his homily at a packed Clonoe church. HM Revenue & Custom confirmed that during extreme weather farmers can use red diesel in their tractors to help grit and clear snow from public roads, earlier in the month. In an obvious floutation of the new ruling, it has been estimated that every household in the parish now own a second hand tractor for everyday use, from going to the local shop for milk to bringing the children to carol services. Fr Hannigan’s patience finally cracked after the racket made by late-comers arriving in their New Hollands made the opening ten minutes of his service completely inaudible.

“The penny dropped when I saw Mrs McGrath and Mrs Taggart arriving at Saturday night’s mass in their own tractors. McGrath was attempting to steer a creaking 1967 Cockshut Hartparr through the front pillars. She broke the head off one of them and bulled on through the once-beautiful garden. My maid was distraught when she saw her demolished dahlia beds. Mrs Taggart was some sight. Descending from her Massey 2004, didn’t she get her frock caught somewhere in the cab, ripping the fabric from around her behind. There was some queue behind her at communion. Men who never took the bread were up like a shot for a gawk. No one will complain about the awkwardness of driving these monsters as the money saved on untaxed fuel seems to be worth the hassle. It has to stop though. The church grounds resemble a monster truck rally. And the buckin sound.”

Teachers have also complained about the carnage at hometime when over 150 tractors and snow ploughs turn up to collect the children. Police appear to be powerless to intervene as the roads are so bad around the area that even pensioners justified tramping through the shite in Davy Browns with Christmas presents balancing on the drawbars.

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on December 22, 2012, in Clonoe, GAA and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Nothing wrong with tractor conventions 😛 We supply second hand tractors” Lancashire wide, so this post is right up our street!

    Like

Leave a Reply to Balmers GM Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Ground*ed Hito

Be the light of your own kind.

Scribbles from me to you

My poetry & prose

Life with Saoirse

The ups, downs, laughter and tears of life in a complex family

Kilbarchan Pipe Band Blog

Registered Charity SC045878

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

LUCID BEING

Astral Lucid Music - Philosophy On Life, The Universe And Everything...

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and a printable recipe card.

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on Dining in and Out.

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

%d bloggers like this: