Strabane Man Thinks Queen Of England Is ‘Not Bad Looking’
Strabane residents are today trying to get their heads around last night’s revelation by the popular ex-referee Barney Gallagher who came out and confirmed he has a bit of a notion of the Queen of England and that it has been going on since the 1970s. ‘Bacon’ Gallagher, a talented musician and one of the most ruthless refs on the ladies footballing circuit, was rumbled when his fellow band members noticed he would mistakenly slip in ‘Liz’, ‘Lizzy’ or ‘Beth’ to traditional Irish love ballads during gigs across the country.
Long time friend and fellow warbler, Ronald Stafford, claims it all makes sense now:
“We’d always joked about how Barney kept millions of stamps in his pockets and the way he’d take ages licking them. It was a bit odd. Little did we know that he was getting a kick from it. He’s the last man I’d suspect to have fallen for oul Windsor. Then I recalled the way he’d pretend to have forgotten lyrics. Just last week he sang “I’ll take you home again, Lizzy” and I swear I saw his eye glisten. He needs his head seen til”.
Gallagher came clean last night after he was caught humming God save the Queen during the instrumental bit of the Galtee Mountain Boy.
“OK, I admit it. But come on, surely you can all see it. That cheeky glint in her eye, the way she glides up and down Buckin Ham, that irresistible figure. I even went to see her at Cashel that time she was over, dressed as a Sion Mills woman. You don’t understand how hard it is for me to come out. Every time I sing the Mountains of Pomeroy, it’s for my Liz”.
Fellow band members are holding a meeting to decide whether Bacon can still perform the likes of ‘Sean South’ whilst harbouring his notion for Elizabeth.