An independent journalist from Omagh has finally released a body of work he undertook over a year ago which reveals the financial advantage the Dublin GAA team has over the rest of the country.

In a remarkably detailed document, John McGorry explains how:

• Dublin players sleep in an oxygen chamber over night
• Some players rest in an ice compartment for up to three days after an injury
• Meals are delivered to their houses/workplaces and are fed the food by Vietnamese women spoonful by spoonful
• They are given free new Sunday clothes, every Sunday
• Their toenails are cut to suit their boots
• They have been given eye treatment better than 20:20 vision
• Their wives, girlfriends and boyfriends are given shopping tokens at the start of every month for to the value of 4000 Euros
• They’ve been given mobile phones with pre-installed numbers for the Taoiseach, Westlife, Boyzone, U2 but not Bono, Conor McGregor, Robbie Keane and others
• They can use the bus lane without prosecution
• They have a private suite in Coppers and only nurses or pre-vetted mature students can visit
• And other stuff

McGorry added:

“I’m not going to spoil my sales of the book by revealing too much but that is the tip of the iceberg. You should see their teeth. I know of one of their forwards who has 44 teeth, simply because he asked for them, and he’s a real biter so I can see why. The advantage they have is astronomical. One of their All-Star half-backs has a £3m wrist watch which tells the time in 45 different languages.”

McGorry’s book, called ‘The Well To Do Boys In Blue’, also explores how a handsome corner forward has spent over 500’000 Euros on liposuction, botox and colonic irrigation in order to maintain his film star looks.

The book goes on sale in September in all good book stores.