PSNI officials have confirmed that over 400 complaints have already been made about teachers openly goading and sniggering at parents wrestling with their own children in shops and parks since yesterday morning.

With all schools on their summer breaks, parents have been faced with the trauma of over seven weeks of entertaining their own offspring in trying, warm conditions. Simultaneously, most teachers have embarked on a lengthy period of sleeping in, drinking from midday and general slouchiness whilst poking fun at their students’ parents.

Maisie McGrath, a mother of five aged 5-16, revealed she almost came to blows with her son’s P5 teacher near the pea section at Lidl in Cookstown yesterday:

“The bitch was smirking away whilst my lad was tugging at my tabard looking for the ice cream section. I know exactly what she was thinking. I also think she was pissed and it was only 1pm.”

Hundreds of other complaints were made regarding laughing and sniggering at cinemas as teachers sat in the back rows poking fun at parents balancing food and snattery crying children at the same time.

Police have sent a letter to all teachers warning them to show some remorse in these early days or teacher internment will be considered until the end of July.