The Flags Commission have issued a final recommendation that all lamp posts be taken down for at least five years in order to address the tricky flags conundrum the group were set up to solve.

They also added that anyone wishing to fly a flag of any sort should have their own portable lamp post and walk around with it. Any unattended lamp posts will be confiscated by a lamp post watchdog committee who will lurk in all counties in unmarked cars.

The Flags Commission treasurer Chris Campbell revealed they have already started removing lamp posts in areas like Moygashel and Larne as a trial run:

“It does make the streets a bit darker we admit, but with the advent of mobile phones and health watches there should be enough light generated to complete a safe journey by foot.”

Already, three portable lamp post manufacturers have sprung up locally with the help of a grant set up by the newly formed Northern Irish Renewable Light Incentive.

Carrying his own lamp post with flag attached, Dungannon man Norman Hanson admitted the whole ordeal is starting to get a bit cumbersome:

“The whole ordeal is starting to get a bit cumbersome. God Save The Queen.”

Meanwhile, Tyrone GAA have hinted that they will give out free portable lamp posts if the senior team progress to the latter stages of the Championship this year.