Tyrone Man Auditioning For New James Bond Role Told To Stop Saying ‘Deadly’ And ‘Lethal’ At Wrong Times
A Tattyreagh man who has survived three rounds of auditioning for the new Bond role has been given a last warning over his unusual use of adjectives, according to sources close to the studio.
Cillian Murphy, Tom Hardy, Idris Elba and Henry ‘the red boy’ McCann are currently vying for the prestigious role having been whittled down from 4000 applicants.
McCann, who impressed the direction team with his steely silence, slightly turned-in eyes and ability to diff heavy machinery with one hand on the steering wheel whilst eating an apple, has repeatedly confounded script writers by calling the famous singer and innocent love interest in the film, Beyonce, as ‘a deadly girl’, especially after kissing scenes.
Despite being told she has no role in any violence and is simply there as a romantic liaison, McCann continued to call her ‘lethal’ every time she tried on a new outfit even though it wasn’t one of his lines.
Co-director Roger Morgan explained:
“In the new film, Beyonce is in no way a deadly or lethal persona. She’s sweet and nice but McCann won’t accept that and keeps trying to rewrite her role as some kind of cold killer. Although, we do like his ‘now we’re suckin diesel’ after a big action scene and might adapt that as his new saying.”
McCann and Tom Hardy were also warned about continually arguing over who was best between Bucks Fizz and Johnny Logan.