The Moy ‘Deadly Sad’ This Morning

The Moy, an hour ago

The Moy, an hour ago

The Moy, a south-east Tyrone hamlet famous for being near Benburb, was this morning said to be in total depair after their senior football side were narrowly defeated by nine points in their semi-final yesterday. Only one local resident has ventured out of their house so far today to buy bread and stuff. She reportedly gave the fingers to a car that beeped at her, suspecting it to be an Eglish rapscallion.

Gregory Jordan, a 49 year old Far-East Christmas pantomime villain, reckons it’ll take a long time to get over this:

“This is worse than I dreaded it would be. We really thought this was the year. 1920. 19 buckin 20 was our last title. There’s a boy up the road there who says he remembers it. He’s in his 70s so it’s quite possible. He always says that in 1921 there was a curse put on the area by a witch doctor from Charlemont after an altercation between himself and the local PP over who wrote the words of ‘Blanket On The Ground’. I’m starting to believe in it. This is cat. I’d made 600 paper hats for the final with ‘The Moy Are Lethal’ on them. I’d say we’ll not recover from this til about 6pm or so.”

Local communities have since rallied around with supplies of spuds, joke books and toilet rolls delivered by the good people of Killyman on a big lorry. Donaghmore’s Malachi Cush has promised to take part in a ‘Cheer Up’ concert, committing himself to singing a rap version of the aforementioned ‘Blanket On The Ground’.

Susan McKearney, a 71-year old Gospel reader, acknowledged the goodwill gestures from neighbours:

“It’s very thoughtful. But it’ll take more than Cush rapping, Andrex Puppies and Kerr’s Pinks to get over those Carmen hoors’.

Moy PRO was unable to comment as he’s somewhere ‘on the continent’.

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About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on October 6, 2013, in Benburb, Carrickmore, Eglish, GAA, Killyman, Moy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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