Tyrone Under Siege As Dangerous Bear On The Loose. Answers To The Name ‘Bungle’.

How Bungle may look

Artist’s crude impression of how Bungle may look


Residents in the Benburb area were warned by PSNI last night to stay indoors whilst they search for a bear which has escaped and is currently on the loose, believed to be somewhere near Donnelly’s Hill.

The bear, which is understood to have been once-domesticated by its owner, Englishman Geoffrey Hayes, answers to the name of ‘Bungle’, and is said to be dangerous.

A spokesman for the PSNI, Sean Robertson, said,

“This animal has a distinctive look about him. He has a bit of a squashed-up face and apparently is really really feckin’ clumsy, so if people are out searchin’ that’s what to look out for. Plus the fact he’s a 6-foot tall bear. That should help”.

Animal-handler Hayes, wearing a brightly coloured jumper and gripping an electric cattle prod, lamented,

“He used to be a lovable bear, slightly slow on the uptake, but then sometimes aren’t we all?” he said. “He even made some appearances on television back in the day. But he’s now over 40 years of age and he can get sometimes get a wee touch irritable. Especially with 4,000 volts up him”.

The hunt has produced a number of eager bounty hunters from the area who believe there may be a reward available.

“I’m told he looks like that big fierce Chewbaccy fecker out of Star Trek”, maintained Gerry McGee, a part-time soap dispenser from Brocagh. “One of thon police boys said there’s a bounty on its head. I didn’t realise bears even liked chocolate. Still, I’m going to bag it, once I’ve dusted down thon Armalite rifle that I don’t have hidden out in the back shed along with the ammunition that doesn’t exist. Ye boy ye”.

The search continued for most of yesterday evening, and included three companions of Hayes’, Freddy, Jane and Rod, all singers and dancers from out of the area. The search was called off for the evening after the three unaccountably broke into a song about puddles.

Concern for the safety of residents increased after the bear reportedly attacked a small hippopotamus which, owing to a virtually unheard-of pigmentation defect, was entirely pink.

It is believed Hayes and the bear were staying in temporary accommodation in the county after travelling to Ardboe area, having apparently mistaken it for another place called ’Rainbow’, before the bear escaped.


About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on October 7, 2013, in Ardboe, Benburb, Brocagh and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

paul g moss

Theories in Education

Ground*ed Hito

Be the light of your own kind.

Scribbles from me to you

My poetry & prose

Life with Saoirse

The ups, downs, laughter and tears of life in a complex family

Kilbarchan Pipe Band Blog

Registered Charity SC045878

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

Lucid Being🎋


In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii


All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on dining in and out

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

%d bloggers like this: