Famed east Tyrone side Windmill GAC, who have never stopped training since their demise 30 years ago ‘just in case‘, has finally received a request to assemble the troops and embark on a 9000-mile journey to South America to play Paraguay, Uruguay and Bolivia in a 4-team tournament before the 2022 World Cup.

The call from international soccer body FIFA comes after a rash of red cards in a series of matches over the weekend in the qualifying tournament for the 2022 World Cup. VAR analysis has confirmed that most cases involved overacting from innocuous challenges, something which has angered soccer authorities on the Latin American continent.

FIFA spokesperson Audi Hammyton explained:

“We’ve had the Windmill on speed dial since they sorted out the West German side of 1982 after that tackle on the French boy. This is slightly different. We want the modern footallers down here given something to be genuinely rolling about the grass for. We’ll tell the refs that cards are only to be issued for breaks or heavy bleeding, and even at that used sparingly.”

WIndmill have already begun a short training programme in preparation for the first match against Uruguay on St Patrick’s Day. Spanish classes have been well attended, with the ‘slagging lessons’ at full capacity.

The Tyrone County Board has reassured Junior clubs in the county that Windmill have not applied to compete locally, yet.