The major universities in Ireland have issued a joint statement, outlining their fears that the new ‘Ulster-Scots Language A-Level’ will see too many applicants in future years after every P3 child in the six counties achieved top marks in the new subject.

The new A-Level included the following question as an opener:

1. If you have a lock of spuds, do you have no spuds or many spuds? (40 marks)

Queen’s University Entrance officer Dr Hector Hero explained:

“I’d be a wee bit worried that every P3 has an A-Level already. One of the questions was – What does ‘aye’ mean: Dog, yes or pothole? I’m not sure if this A-Level is robust enough. I’m also worried about the Degree in Ulster Scots that the P5s are already doing.”

Another of the 40-markers was:

“If I’m a crabby wee baldy glipe, am I happy, grumpy or indifferent?”